Just perfect

Just perfect

I'm in the Antarctic now, surrounded by perfect white snow as far as I can see, graceful clumsy penguins and whales slapping their tales on perfect surface of the ocean... It's about time to think about perfection, whether it’s possible or not, but it seems to make no difference here.


Sure thing, everything is perfect in a perfect world. Perfect hotels and restaurants with perfect service and food. Guests are perfect too, of course. These are perfect men and women coming with their perfect children seeking perfection. Yes, I do understand I've already used annual amount of the word 'perfect'. But I've just started, so you'll have to tolerate me for a while. There are no limits in the perfect world, by the way.


In the perfect world, a blanket is never tucked under a mattress. It's hard to believe, but it's true. The real room (of course in imaginary reality, since we are talking about the perfect world) will be the same as shown at booking.com. Moreover, the perfect version of this website allows for the last-minute cancellation of a reservation without any penalties and compensations. Actually, you will be the one to get compensation — to be able to book a better room.


They will never give you a room facing a backyard, since all rooms are either mountain or sea view here — this is how a perfect hotel is designed. However, if you do prefer a backyard with shabby walls and a range of sewer pipes, a hotel manager will find a way to please you. They will invite expensive decorators to create desired exterior overnight, including rusty streaks and layers of pigeon droppings (papier-mâché, of course).


In a perfect hotel, you will learn that breakfast doesn't end at 9:30, 10:00 or 11:00. It is never-ending actually. Moreover, breakfast offer goes beyond croissants, omelette and various cheeses. A polite receptionist will ask in advance about your morning preferences (or the preferences of the part of the day, when you usually wake up) and your favourite dishes will be included in 24/7 breakfast menu.


Sure thing, breakfast can't fill belly alone, and sooner or later you will leave the hotel to explore dining surroundings. Keep in mind that Michelin Guides are of no use in the perfect world, since the 3-star system is considered primitive here. They don't award stars to restaurants, but use more poetic symbols instead: golden chicken leg, ruby lobster tail, emerald lettuce leaf etc. Right at the entrance, they will inform you about signature dishes (though dishes without 'signature' are worth trying in perfect restaurants as well).


Perfect guests sitting next to you might seem a bit strange at first. What's the matter with them? Where are there laptops and smartphones? Why don't they check Facebook timeline every single moment and don't upload photos to Instagram? Perfect guests come to restaurants to enjoy food and not social media. They can eat the whole tasting menu without taking a picture of any single dish. They admire a perfect taste not by tags and likes, but by word they address to a chef, who appears in a hall occasionally.


Their perfect children are not glued to a tablet, watching angry birds flying or a family of cartoon pigs hopping all over the screen. They (oh, my!) talk to the parents and each other. They (what a surprise!) read books, when their parents don't pay attention to them; and, of course, they scamper among tables, turning chairs upside-down and shoving waitstaff over both in a perfect and imperfect world.


What about owners of perfect restaurants? Do they rest on their laurels? Not a bit. They are never satisfied with an average bill amount, are meticulous about the service and hard on personnel, and keep cursing restaurant critics. This is their nature, even in the perfect world.